Well! It’s certainly been a while since my last post. I have no one to blame but myself, however I can partially pin it on wanting to rebrand a bit. As someone who is highly likely to be on the spectrum, I’ve always had special interests, but recently mine has shifted a bit! It used to be books, reading them, writing about them, etc. Tiktok has kinda ruined my relationship to the medium– actually, it’s less Tiktok and more Colleen Hoover and the new wave of heterosexual slop being passed as literature… So now, it’s music! Saying music in general makes me sound insane, so I’ll try to specify it a bit: I like the behind the scenes aspect of music, the culture surrounding it, and the concepts of how my favorite artists and albums come to fruition. I fucking love it. I’m obsessed with it!
Just as a minor disclaimer, talking about music I hate– to me at least– is hard because it’s not pleasurable to listen to stuff you hate, as opposed to hate-watching a movie. It doesn’t benefit anyone, and it doesn’t make me happy. It just makes me upset to see wasted potential.
With that out of the way, I’m here to give you guys a list of both my favorite and least favorite songs of last year (2022). This list was kinda hard, since I listen to so much (but mainly pop and indie), but I tried narrowing it down for simplicity’s sake.
And here’s the list:
10. Made You Look by Meghan Trainor
Listen, I understand the push for brighter pop– I am a poptimist to my core! I believe in the power of girly pop music! But this is just sad. It’s vapid, void of any real feeling behind it. And I hate using this phrase because it’s been beaten to death by Tiktok, but it feels so… corporate. Target commercial music before they started using good music (shout out to Years & Years btw! he’s on the other list). Blank out of 10.
9. Vigilante Shit by Taylor Swift
I have a complicated relationship with Taylor. I like her music– most of it, at least. I just don’t gel with her more feminist works (the “fuck the patriarchy” line in All Too Well comes to mind). It reads as 2012 tumblr to me. In fact, I’m fairly certain there were several viral text posts about having eyeliner “sharp enough to kill a man”. It’s just tacky. I probably would’ve liked it better if the instrumental was, well, better, though, because to me it sounded like a reject from Reputation. Like, it’s extremely out of place sonically compared to the rest of Midnights’ late night contemplative synths. 2 out of 10.
8. Sneakers by ITZY
To get this out of the way, I feel really, really bad for ITZY. Just a couple days ago, a video made the rounds on twitter of them airing their grievances over their career, lack of good songs, and lack of core identity to their boss, Jinyoung Park (aka JYP). The girls basically told him that they’re dissatisfied with their management, and that they want more creative control. JYP ignored their concerns and gave them… Sneakers. To me, Sneakers is almost a parody of an ITZY song: an obnoxious, ear-wormy instrumental, nonsensical lyrics, squeaky raps and vocals, and a very loud and colorful music video, all cranked up to 11. It’s void of all the things that make the ITZY well, ITZY. And worst of all, it’s just a rushed job. 3 out of 10.
7. Boyfriend by Dove Cameron
Oh look, a Fifty Shades soundtrack reject made for the 2020’s. I haven’t heard a song this schlocky since my friend introduced me to Chase Atlantic’s music. Forgive me for sounding harsh (because I know I do) but it’s just a very corny song. Queer songs for the masses (like the next one coming up) suffer from the same cheesiness. Overdramatic, overproduced, and just so sappy. 2 out of 10.
6. Unholy by Sam Smith & Kim Petras
Sorry gays, I hate this song. It suffers from the same issues described above, but this time it’s somehow worse. One, it’s way too short– a song involving a choir and a narrative should be at least four minutes. Two, every Kim Petras verse is the same (seriously! every song she’s on is about like… sex, getting money, and having a sugar daddy). Three, I automatically hate any song that sounds like it was made to be put on some straight person’s sex playlist. 5 out of 10.
5. Pink Venom by BLACKPINK
Annoying people rejoice, BLACKPINK is back! …with the same song they’ve been releasing since Ddu-ddu Ddu-du. Teddy needs to get fired or arrested or something, because he’s running out of ideas. Three songs in one, bad rap, nonsensical breakdown instead of a bridge. Scrap the whole thing and give the people what we really want⎻ another Rosé solo comeback. 1 out of 10.
4. Eyes on You by Nicky Youre
Nothing much to say here– it just sounds extremely dated. I feel like every upbeat indie boy song sounds like the pandemic-era Lorem playlist on spotify. Cute, Tiktok-baity, but nothing else to it. 5 out of 10.
3. Touch Tank by Quinnie
I am a lesbian and a hater to my core, sorry. “He’s so pretty when he goes down on me-” INSTANT skip. I don’t care. Corny out of 10.
2. I Won’t by AJR
Pop’s favorite musical theatre majors are back with another hit for Dear Evan Hansen enthusiasts. AJR out of 10.
And #1, Middle of a Breakup by Panic! at the Disco
Everything possibly good about Panic! was ruined by Brendon Urie. All the love and indie pop was sucked out of this band, if you can even call him a band at this point. Retire already out of 10.
Overall, this year was really good for music as a whole. It was kinda hard to pick some least favorites, since like I stated before, if I hear a song I hate I just block it from my memory. Except Unholy. That song haunts my dreams.